On training, transformation, and the personal work behind the profession
They say many people are drawn to this work because, at some point, they have faced what their future clients face: confusion, shame, pain, or a disconnect. Maybe you, too, have experienced moments where support felt limited, answers felt inaccessible, yet the desire to understand yourself, your body, or your relationships kept growing. So you began seeking answers, understanding the “why,” and developing a hunger to share that knowledge and learn more.
That was certainly my gateway. I trained as an artist, but a lifetime of pain, later diagnosed as endometriosis, shifted my focus from art to the body. I became curious about navigating pain, my relationships, and feeling disconnected from pleasure. My story began with a relentless search for answers that my doctors were not able to provide. And once I had them, I knew I wanted to be in the room where I could share them with others.
For many trainees, there is a moment of recognition when entering this field; sometimes you feel it straight away, and sometimes it hits you the moment you sit with your first client. It can feel like a calling, an alignment between your personal experiences and your life's purpose. For many, this work matters not just professionally, but on a deeply personal level that only those who train may truly understand. For me, training as a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist wasn’t just about a job; it felt like coming home. A shift from "I feel lost" to "This is where I am supposed to be."
It's not all about sex!
While training is not short of coursework, lectures, clinical hours, supervision, and case studies, it is also incredibly humbling. Through challenging conversations, extended silences, and the occasional clash of perspectives that can rupture or repair the group and even friendships, you don’t just learn about sex, you learn about yourself.
One of the first things that surprised me was how much the training asked me to turn the lens inward, and yes, it can open a Pandora’s box. Tears will be shed, mark my words. This work isn’t just about sitting with clients’ most intimate experiences; it’s about sitting with your own. You are gently challenged to explore what is activated in you, the stories you carry, and how your experiences shape your reactions, therapeutic presence, and therapeutic process.
Training with CICS was one of the most challenging and meaningful decisions I’ve made.
Sitting in the therapist’s chair is massively rewarding, but it is also a big responsibility. To hold space ethically and effectively, you are expected to do your own work even when it feels scary. Investing in personal therapy, supervision, ongoing self-reflection and CPD is not an optional extra; it is integral to becoming a safe, attuned, and competent therapist.
If you are reading this and thinking about dipping your toe into the field of training for the first time, it's only fair to share the practical side of training. Yes, training is expensive, time-intensive, and often layered on top of existing work or caregiving responsibilities. Juggling all of this can feel like a lot, trust me, I nearly quit a few times myself, but if this work matters to you, the challenge is part of the journey.
Plus, personal therapy is required and, quite honestly, the best gift in the whole process. It’s not just about learning to be a therapist; it’s knowing that self-care is essential to supporting ourselves and our clients. And eventually, a placement and 150 clinical hours are required, which might feel scary now, but once you start, you see how rewarding the hard work really is.
To put it into perspective, this is not a quick qualification; it is a long-term investment in a profession that requires continued personal and professional development. As cliché as it sounds, it really is a journey, not a destination.
What should you know before you decide to train?
Training with CICS was one of the most challenging and meaningful decisions I’ve made. It didn’t just provide a qualification; it fundamentally changed how I understand myself, others, and the human experience both in and out of the bedroom. The process was confronting, but it also expanded my capacity for compassion, curiosity, and presence, qualities that sit at the heart of great therapeutic work.
Exploring this work is not for the faint-hearted; you will encounter themes around sex, pain, identity, trauma, gender, culture and religion that can be emotionally intense. It asks you to sit with topics many people avoid, find taboo or even too painful to put into words. The learning space is a group experience where you need to learn to hold space for people and stories that are, and will be, complex, painful, challenging, and different to your own.
I will leave you with this: training as a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist can be transformative in ways you don’t always expect. You may find relationships end, boundaries change, and parts of yourself come out that feel uncomfortable. It is precisely this personal work that strengthens your ability to sit with clients in complex, vulnerable spaces with care.
If you feel drawn to this path, consider this an invitation into a profession that asks you to be curious, open to learning, reflective, and able to sit with yourself and your clients with compassion.
By April Maria, Trainee Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist
